confucious confused

Far From Quirky

It was an early autumn evening. Work was a buzz with commuters on their way from the office of their days to the abodes of their nights. He walked in like he had probably many times before. She greeted him with the enthusiasm that she had for connecting with customers. It was the highlight of her job. The reason she stayed in her job. She still enjoyed the moments when she could lift another person's tension and impart a smile on their face that might not have come if not for her. As he placed his order she noticed the embroidery on his jacket. His was a face she didn't recognize in the steady comings and goings of coffee addicts. So she asked.
"Are you from Missouri? Here on business?"
Quizzically he said "No" He went on to briefly explain that he worked for a local office of a larger corporation.
She smiled as she penned his name onto the white paper cup. And her eyes drifted to his left hand. They tended to do this as if to tell her brain to pay attention because there were two things she should make note of.  One, that this person was attractive to her, they had the looks and energy she was drawn to. Two, this person, while being the sort of guy she was hoping to find one day, was not available. It had happened before maybe twice.
This evening had been like the previous times. He was married. Someone had already discovered the key to this one's heart. Oh well at least she knew good ones were still out there.

Weeks went by and her life ebbed and flowed. She had finally finished the projects on her apartment to move in to the bedroom toward the back of the house with the large closet she had all her clothes in. This left her with a spare room and the end of her paychecks from the teaching work she had done left her with a need for some additional funds. So she decided that while she wasn't entirely keen on sharing a residence again with a stranger, she needed to try. She snapped some pictures of the small room and scraped together a posting for a room to rent. A few people came to see it within the first few days, but nothing panned out.

After work one afternoon, her phone beeped with an email message. A person wanted to see the place as soon as possible. She was skeptical. It had been a few weeks without anything materializing, But she gave the address and arranged a time for a showing.

A few hours later, he showed up. As he walked up to the front door she was a bit surprised. What were the chances of already having met this person?! It was an instant relief to feel as if she wasn't meeting a stranger. The tour around the small two bedroom was perfunctory. And she largely figured that with such a tiny space he wouldn't be all that interested. But he surprised her by being all to eager to secure the room. Being the detail oriented person that she is, she noticed a change. His ring was conspicuously absent. She made no inquiry. It really wasn't her business. He needed a room and she didn't feel like she was signing on with a complete stranger. At least he liked good coffee, so he couldn't be that bad. After reassuring him that he could consider the room held for him he left.

Shortly after he made arrangements to pay his first month and get the keys. They sat down and she got some of the story behind him needing a room for the short term. A crushing situation for this person. A somewhat unanticipated dissolution of his marriage due to infidelity. This engaging affecting man was obviously in pain and shock and she wished she could make it better.

The Thanksgiving Holiday passed and December came. He moved a few things in to the small room over a few days but was more absent than she had expected. Her heart melted a little with his explanation. He was a fur dad. He had fuzzy loves that he missed and still wanted to care for.

She began to worry slightly that there might be something about the room or apartment that he was too polite to not tell her. But then again he was considerably the most ideal roommate. He paid rent on time and wasn't around much. She was able to keep her own company like she was accustomed.

Despite the fractional amount of time he spent in the apartment. They built a friendship out of a few shared meals and interests and laughs. She held him in high regard and also felt for his broken heart and uncertainty of building a future from what seemed to him tattered remnants of a life lived and the fractured parts of an expected outcome. She purposed to be support for this soul. He was such an outstanding human in such an unequal situation. 

Midway through the second month he asked if it would be alright for him to move out before February, even though it was short notice. Her response was that she could part with a roommate if she could hold on to the friendship. He agreed and she found peace in that.

Over the next few months they met a few times to share great conversation over dinner. She learned things about him that definitely drew her in.

Just the mention of a garden would draw out from him the passion and excitement that lurked beneath the surface. His face would light up in a way she hadn't seen from him otherwise. His interests seemed to align closely with hers. Kismet friendship.

A few months passed of brief interactions and long conversations. The weight of the divorce issues weighed on him more heavily at times. But she was pleased to see her friend working to rediscover himself. He would channel time into a new hobby. Spending hours and weekends getting to know who he was. He actively sought out new employment to make a change and start over. These were all such awesome victories that she felt excited for him. He was seeing his way to the other side.

His energy and presence in her life had grown to be a real blessing. His courage encouraged her to dream of more for herself. She worked to find her own better self. She spent energy considering what she wanted out of her own life. Floating ideas of goals and pursuits in her head. And he was only ever encouraging of her. Somehow he saw potential and strength and hope that was fuzzy for her. He would cheer her on in a way no one had since her late-father.

And despite her self she felt a twinge of feelings that reached beyond the bonds of friendship stir.Much to her dismay she nearly choked on a lump in her throat when he asked her, as they dined high a top the city, if she was alright because she seemed quiet. It hit her then that her truest self wished for more. This flew in the face of her better judgement and the value she placed on being friends with this incredible person.

While she questioned many things in the world and practiced mental calisthenics with many philosophies and theories, there were a few rules she held herself to. And in this case it was the base idea of a 'One Year Rule.' She had been a regular listener of a radio psychotherapist years before and had gained the insight to know that a person that is getting out of a relationship isn't truly ready for the next one until they have grieved the loss for at least 12 months. In this time, the Dr. had pointed out, a person reestablishes who they are. They gain insight into their strength and ability to be successfully  independent. She pointed out that statistically people who do not give themselves that period of time tend to have less satisfying and lasting relationships because they tend to carry baggage along from the previous entanglement.

So, with this idea in her mind she squelched the baby butterflies and tried for platonic. The divorce came and went. And their time together faded down to a few minutes grabbed here and there. Always as enjoyable as ever even if they only had five minutes of nonsensical chatter about silly things.

As spring came on his patience with a job he didn't like in a city he no longer wanted to be seemed to grow beyond tolerable. So he severed the last bits that held him and moved East. She was thrilled for him. That he would be able to reset himself again. Get to the core of what he wanted. True inside she wrestled with the loss of such a great companion to chuckle through the week with. But they would remain friends. Distance wouldn't change that.

Calendar months fell away and they managed to stay in occasional contact. And she had found peace and rhythm. And he found a new life. He established a new job and place. He found new pursuits and goals. She found a desire to explore the idea of relationships again to possibly put herself into the world of dating and see what was out there.

She reopened an online dating app one evening out of curiosity and decided she may as well make the investment in herself to subscribe to this service. As she scrolled through the many faces of gentlemen that had viewed her profile, a familiar face caught her eye. There he was, yet again, an an eerily serendipitous surprise.

Who knew how long ago he had looked at her profile and for what reason. She certainly had no idea. Something inside her felt certain that if he actually had interest he would just let her know.
Overall she was encouraged to see that he was taking steps forward.

To be continued...