I would be different...

I am the girl that falls for the man before he finds his forever. I am
not the girl the guy falls for.
It’s been this way for a good while. Bryan found his wife shortly
after he pursued me. Jon found his Sara just in time to break my
heart. Dustin dated Jodi just as I was completely smitten. Robbob came
across Rachel when he was the one thing I coveted. Rob fell into
Lindsay's life when I was certain he was my eventual mate for life.

It has left me jaded and scared to fall for anyone because not only do
I end up not with the  man, they find happiness and love and I find
heartache and loneliness.

And I guess I roll with the punches on the outside but inside I grow
more resolved to the pain.

I am now just uneasy getting interested in a man at all. Because I
don’t get the follow through. I want love. I want someone to be crazy
about me.

But with perspective, Jordan, Bryan, Jon, Dustin, & Robbob were all certainly wrong for me, so while the pain has been there so has some sort of guardian keeping me safe for a right connection. A real love. So, I'll go on with hope renewed and dare to dream that eventually I'll be the forever someone really wants.

Goodnight, Universe.